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Energizing Elixirs: A Monster Mash-Up — Ranked and Reviewed


Monster energy was originally created in 2002 in Southern California, it was almost immediately a smash hit with tons of additional flavors created in the years since.

Me and two of my friends set out to create a comprehensive ranking of (almost) every single easily available flavor, they are as follows: Original, Ultra Peachy Keen, Ultra Strawberry Dreams, Ultra Sunrise, Ultra Paradise, Zero Ultra, Ultra Watermelon, Ultra Violet, Kiwi Ultra Strawberry Dreams, Aussie Lemonade, Pipeline Punch and Pacific Punch.



Original was, as expected, pretty boring and unsatisfying. The color could be described as cider-y or even similar to gasoline while the taste left much to be desired, it was slightly sour with notes of something close to a jolly rancher.

Jackson: 2, Soren: 3, Archer: 4


Reserve Kiwi Strawberry:

I went into this one with fairly low expectations as I tend to not be much of a kiwi fan, I was however fairly surprised by how good it was. It was slightly sour with a fantastic kiwi flavor, I would even go as far as to say it was refreshing.

Jackson: 7, Soren: 7, Archer: 5


Zero Ultra:

Going into this review the white monster had always been my choice, I didn’t really expect much to shake that up. It was pretty clear upon pouring and the flavor was aptly described by Archer as a citrusy bubblegum. The only other thing of note is that it was less fizzy than previous monster flavors.

Jackson: 9, Soren: 3, Archer: 8


Ultra Violet:

I had no experience with Ultra Violet before this review and I don’t think I will ever again, I had minimal expectations before but the second it was poured into a glass my stomach shriveled up and died a little and my tongue seemed to convulse. The only thing similar in color to this beverage I have ever seen is elixir from Clash of Clans. The flavor could only be described as grape adjacent, it both smelled and tasted very strongly but outside of grape none of the other elements were identifiable. Don’t buy this.

Jackson: 1, Soren: 1, Archer: 2


Ultra Sunrise:

I was excited to try this one as I’ve always had a bias for citrus drinks, on the pour it looked similar to a pulp orange juice though obviously it was lacking in pulp. The taste was also very soft, almost like a San Pelligrino. Excellent.

Jackson: 8, Soren: 8, Archer: 7


Ultra Paradise:

I was initially skeptical on this one as I don’t tend to like green apple. This was surprisingly okay though, on the pour it was sort of mint green and the taste was very inoffensive.

Jackson: 6, Soren: 2, Archer: 6


Ultra Strawberry Dreams:

I’ll be real, this one is pretty boring, it’s just strawberry. It was good.

Jackson: 7, Soren: 9, Archer: 7


Ultra Peachy Keen:

I didn’t know much about this one but Soren had been talking it up during all of the previous beverages so I had high expectations. On the pour it was very yellow and it had a very strong scent. I was very disappointed, it was far too strong and the peach seemed very fake.

Jackson: 5, Soren: 10, Archer: 10


Ultra Watermelon:

I tend to like watermelon so I was excited for this one. This one was, frankly, disgusting. On the pour it was honestly menacing, the taste was slightly sour. Even worse than Violet.

Jackson:1, Soren: 1, Archer: 3


Pipeline Punch:

This one had no sort of flavor indicated in the title so I was incredibly curious. It was orange and mango-y. Archer described it as “slight nanners”

Jackson: 6, Soren: 5, Archer: 7


Pacific Punch:

I’m pretty partial to fruit punch so I was excited for this one. On the pour it was almost like movie blood. The three of us all agreed that this was a pretty good fruit punch, however I was the only one of the three to enjoy fruit punch.

Jackson: 8, Soren: 4, Archer: 6


Aussie Lemonade:

I like lemonade but this one had a very strong smell, it also had some lime elements. Lemonade is pretty boring.

Jackson: 6, Soren: 8, Archer: 6


Average ranking:

Ultra Peachy Keen

Ultra Sunrise

Ultra Strawberry Dreams

Zero Ultra

Aussie Lemonade

Kiwi Strawberry

Pipeline Punch

Pacific Punch

Ultra Paradise


Ultra Watermelon

Ultra Violet


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