Would you rather spend twenty four hours in a Waffle House, run a mile while drinking a gallon of milk, streak during your high school’s football game,  or drop Nico Collins after his injury?

Only one of these decisions can stop the rest, can you figure which one it is?

If you can, you’ve beat seven percent of all fantasy football players who lost their league. Many of these fantasy players chose not to drop Nico Collins, leading them to get last in their league, resulting in a fantasy football punishment. These twisted punishments range from something harmless like making an embarrassing TikTok, or doing a sendit on the school story. But some fantasy leagues like to punish last place, coining famous punishments such as the milk mile, the night in Waffle House, or even the dog cage.

While only one person in any given fantasy league gets last place, I have managed to find three different fantasy losers. Not only finding out what creative and cruel punishments their league came up with, but how they are changing to not make the same mistakes that lead to getting leeches being poured onto them, or having to walk on PBnJs in a Walmart for five hours.

What was your punishment?

William Brewer (11)-“for my fantasy punishment, I put in the cage. It’s where you get locked in a dog cage, and members of your league just pour a bunch of random stuff on you for like ten-fifteen minutes”

Charlie Boschetti (11)-“I had to do the milk mile at rams, you run a lap then you drink about a quarter gallon of milk and you run another lap all the way to a mile and finish the gallon of milk”.

Bruno Bonello (9)-“I had one croc filled with peanut butter and the other was filled with jelly, then I had to walk around Walmart for I think close to five hours.”

What was the worst decision you made that led to your loss?

Brewer-“Probably trading away my best players; I traded away Justin Jefferson and I’m pretty sure Ceedee Lamb. That and Nico Collins injury week five.”

Boschetti-“Starting Will Levis in the game for last place.”

Bonello-“bro, genuinely just having any belief in Najee Harris.”

How bad do you think your punishment was compared to other leagues?

Brewer-“My punishment was pry the worst out of all the leagues, cause I’m 6,4 locked in a small dog cage. You got food, condiments, juices, and leach water being poured on you; it’s nasty.”

Boschetti-“I’d give it maybe like a seven out of ten. You know some leagues do some embarrassing stuff and some are softer but the milk mile is just physical pain. Especially since I was puking milk by the third lap.”

Bonello-“pretty calm, I mean it wasn’t like painful or anything, more just uncomfortable and annoying.”

Did you ever think of quitting fantasy during your punishment?

Brewer- “yes, yes, when I was in the cage I thought, ‘I’m definitely gonna quit” but then draft time was too close to it and I didn’t have the chance to quit.'”

Boschetti- “yes definitely. I was fine during the actual punishment but leading up to it I was definitely considering just dropping the league and then not doing the punishment you know cause if I was gonna get kicked out if I didn’t do the punishment, why not just skip it. But I didn’t and I’m happy I did because I’m actually good now.”

Bonello- “I mean a little bit yeah. The problem was that if you left the punishment early or just quit, they would just do something worse to you so what even was the point of leaving.”

What are you doing to ensure you don’t lose again?

Brewer-“my plan is not to trade away my best players, and maintain my team and keep faith in my boys.”

Boschetti-“I want another good wide receiver, that’s one for sure. I actually started drafting this year too instead of doing auto draft. I’m checking projections more too so I think the main thing is that I’m a lot more involved than last year.”

Bonello-“I’m gonna wait for Ja’Marr Chase to have a standout game so then I can sell high on him and probably go undefeated.”

Fantasy Football isn’t about bragging rights or watching Sunday night add-less Redzone with your friends, it’s about being good enough to not be last. One bad trade, one season ending injury, or one stubborn belief in Najee Harris can be the difference between watching the loser regurgitating milk on the RAMS track, and being the one watching. Despite all of that, Fantasy teaches accountability, humility, and maybe even a stronger stomach. So the next time you’re tempted to keep an injured Nico Collins, remember: it’s not just the season on the line, it’s your dignity.